Humbled

I've never been the kind of person who accepts help easily. But with our current situation, I've had to swallow my pride and admit that I can't do everything. It's taken major effort to ask for help with the kids or even worse ask for financial assistance. When Kris lost his job, we also lost our medical benefits and with three small kids who are prone to catastrophe it was apparent we were going to need some state assistance. The kids are covered by CHIP now and I was surprised to learn there is also a health insurance program which Kris and I were eligible for. It just covers a few of the basics but we accepted it happily.

We've even had to apply for food assistance. It's so embarrassing to admit that you can't even afford the basic needs of life. The only thing that lessens the blow is knowing that it's only temporary. As soon as I can get through this schooling we will be in a much better place financially.

I've only hinted at our situation to a few family and friends, like I said, I've always had my pride to overcome, but sometimes blessings just seem to find their way to our quaint little home. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister Alissa, along with three of my dearest friends, walked into our house carrying bags of groceries. They had all pitched in to buy us at least a month of food. Our cabinets are stocked, the freezer is near bursting and we've resulted to storing extra paper towels and toilet paper in the bedroom! Even as I type this now my letters are blurred from the tears that won't stop coming.

"Thank You" seems like such a trivial response to such a wonderful act of generosity. I won't lie and say my first reaction was guilt at having to be in a situation which requires "handouts" but I quickly replaced those feelings with ones of sincere thankfulness at the wonderful people in my life who would do something so kind for our struggling family.

I survive by continuing to tell myself our situation is only temporary and every day I make a promise to volunteer at the 4th Street Clinic when I am a licensed nurse, to pay back what I've taken with service to the homeless.

This incredible act of kindness has been the motivation I've needed to pull me out of a slump I've been slowly creeping into. With so much going on all the time, I seem to be overwhelmed for the better part of everyday trying to manage my time between being an excellent student, a perfect mother, a loving wife, an outstanding employee and an available friend. It helped me realize that my support system is greater than I give it credit for and my only responsibility to to myself and my schooling and if I'm lacking in a few places I have an army of amazing people begging to step up. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.