Reality

When starting nursing school over a year ago, my admissions advisor told me point blank--"don't get married, don't have a baby, don't even get pregnant, and don't get a new job...you're going to be stressed out enough with school..."

Well, I've broken one of those rules. I've left the OR behind me and have returned to my roots...patient bedside care. I accepted a new position on a unit in the hospital I currently work at so it's not so much a NEW job, but still much different. My first shift is bright and early in the morning. I'm terrified. And exhausted already. But I'm looking forward to putting to good use the last twelve months of studying, practice assessments, and nursing care plans.

I started clinicals last week and on Wednesday, was given my own patient. My clinical instructor told us, "you're in the real world now!" and I felt like throwing up a little bit. It's finally sinking in that in the not too distant future, I will be responsible for keeping people alive. I would be lying if I didn't say that it terrifies me.

Deep breaths. I can do this.