I love school. If I had the means I would attend some sort of educational institution for the rest of my life. I love to read and learn and explore. I'm completely enthralled with the physiology of the human body. I love the feeling when I can put the puzzle pieces together and it all clicks--signs, symptoms, medications, interventions, rationals--it's very satisfying.
That said, I guess what I wasn't prepared for is how everything else in my life has taken a huge dive on my list of priorities since starting nursing school. It seemed for a while that I was just slightly re-arranging things but when I finally slowed down enough to actually take an inventory of my responsibilities, I realized that everything that used to be so important, has plummeted to the near bottom of my own personal list of concerns. I'm not one to procrastinate, and I'm trying hard to convince myself that these short comings are entirely school-related and not due to increased laziness on my part.
Here are a few things /I don't have time for/have let go/have forgotten about/miss/:
-plucking my eyebrows
-painting my toenails
-watching movies
-watching TV
-weeding the yard
-laundry always done and put away
-dishes piled up for days at a time in the kitchen sink
-remember deadlines
-paying bills on time
-never forgetting a bday or anniversary
-arriving to work on time
-children clean every night
-home made dinners
-updated pictures and blogs
-quality time with my husband
-seeing my friends regularly
-baking
-listening to music
-reading for fun
-wearing make-up
-sleeping in
-being lazy with the kids just because
-making my bed
-vacuuming regularly
-dusting
-calling my Mom
It kind of irritates me when people tell me, "oh, it will all be worth it when you're done!" because I sometimes wonder if it actually will. When student loans are waiting to be paid and I can't find a job I like, what do I do then? I went outside to get the mail and my daughter shouted, "Bye Mom!" and I wanted to cry. She's so used to me leaving all the time....
School is great. But it's an incredible sacrifice. I hope I can take it.
2 comments:
AMEN SISTER. i miss you terribly. it may or may not be worth it- that is up to you. but in my eyes, upgrading your education is NEVER, NOT worth it.....
ps youre amazing. everyone is in awe for how much youve accomplished this past 1.5 years!
Hang in the kiddo!!!! It's tough no doubt. It may not be worth it financially, but think of all the people that will be thankful for your presence in their lives. Your kids may be missing out on some one on one time with you right now, but they're gaining so much by watching your dedication and persistance. Besides, your almost done!
Marcie
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